Friday, June 28, 2013

Bras

My bra is quite ill-fitting. It is somewhat distracting to my day. As I walk down the street I notice that it is separating my breasts far too much. They also seem to be bouncing more than usual. This will not do. I imagine everyone is staring at me. Laughing at my pornographic bosom and wondering why I would leave the house in this manner. I am asking that myself. I must find a newspaper to cover my front area with, quickly. If I can look as though I am reading the paper as I walk home, I won't have to be subject to leers for much longer. However, selecting the right paper is also of the upmost importance. If someone sees me reading a certain publication I may forever be deemed a liberal hippie. Another paper might indicate a propensity for charity and collectivism. I do not need slanders on top of slanders. Perhaps I should be served better by buying another bra. I do hate to buy bras in the day time. But for this, I must make an exception.

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